Great life experiences – Part 1

… An essential resource for understanding where you are in life…

Ever wondered how well you are doing in the great race of life? Running on empty or full to the brim with the glory of your own existence. Well, worry no longer! Below is part one of the only guide you’ll ever need to work out exactly just how great, good or downright rotten your own particular life experience is. So, don’t delay… try it today!


Great life experiencesGood life experiencesBad life experiences
Helping a Playboy bunny across the roadHelping an old lady across the roadBeing helped across the road by an old lady.
Finding a twenty pound note on the groundFinding a twenty pound note you thought you’d lost in your pocketFinding that someone has emptied your bank account and has been throwing twenty pound notes around the town
Having your arch-enemy committed to a mental asylumHaving someone you don’t like committed to a mental asylumBeing committed to a mental asylum (especially if by your worst enemy)
Being the pigeonNot being crapped on by the pigeonBeing Nelson’s Column
Owning a racehorseHaving a share in a racehorseEating racehorse without knowing it
Doing something truly philanthropicSupporting a charity with regular donationsFinding out that your donations have been supporting the local branch of the Hitler Youth
Partying hard with no hangover the following dayPartying hard with only a bit of a sore head the next dayPartying hard and waking up to find your friends have left you in a bath full of Special Brew
Being truly loved by at least one person (not your mum)Having a lot of friends (including your mum)Being famous on Facebook because of that picture of you with diarrhea when you were a kid
Being physically present at the birth of your first childBeing able to watch the birth of your first child from outside the delivery roomBeing given your first child by the midwife and finding out that it’s the wrong colour
Seeing your favourite band playing live just before they were famousSeeing your favourite band playing live just after they were famousSeeing your favourite band playing live in the local pub as a Karaoke duo
Living in mansion in a tropical paradiseLiving in a big house in a tropical paradiseLiving under a coconut
Playing rugby for your countryPlaying rugby for your local teamBeing used as the rugby ball


So, how did you score?

Mostly great… You lucky so and so. Whatever you are doing it certainly looks like it’s working and you’re probably having a pretty good time doing it.

Mostly good… Okay, so you’re not up there with the cream of the crop, but look at it this way, you’re probably doing a heck of a lot better than most of the other inmates of planet earth.

Mostly bad… Wow! What did you do in your previous life to deserve this? You must have been exquisitely horrible to a lot of people, that’s for sure. Every day must be just one long slow slide down the razor blade of life with no pants on. Still, at least it can’t get any worse, right?


So, that’s it, now you know where you stand (or fall) with respect to the metaphorical ‘Joneses’. But never fear! Keep your eyes peeled for part two of this guide sometime in the near future and maybe you can improve you score!

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