Rob Gregory | Author
“Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters and eventually, one of them will produce the complete works of Shakespeare…
… Give a typewriter to Rob Gregory and he’ll probably just eat it.”
Murray Liebencranz, Bassoon Weekly.
Hi there, bold and adventurous explorer into the unknown!
Welcome to rob-gregory.com, the online home of Rob Gregory, writer and author of unusual, inspiring and downright spellbinding tales of fiction. Whether it’s short stories, children’s adventures, humour, or the world’s first anti-fantasy novel, Drynwideon, that you’re looking for, then you’ve come to the right place!
Yes, that’s right. I’m Rob Gregory. I’m a writer, and have been for as long as I can remember. I love writing. It’s in my blood, deep down in my very marrow, in fact, and I’m never happier than when I’m sitting in front of my computer, letting my imagination run wild and creating new tales, which I hope will enlighten, enrich and amuse you, my dear visitor.
As you can see from my biography below, I began writing full-time in 2017 and since then have created Drynwideon, a fantasy tale like no other, containing urine drinking dwarfs, a crazy fairy, the legendary Farting Phoenix and something called ‘The Rog’, not to mention the world’s least heroic lead character, who happens to also be a cannibal in his spare time. It’s a full-on adventure novel that takes the familiar ‘hero journey’ and slams it on its head with hilarious results. Think Terry Pratchett meets J.R.R. Tolkien and you’re on the right lines.
The DATS Trilogy and its single volume compilation, The Lucius Chronicles, follow the adventures of Johnny Jenkinson and his best friend, Eddie, the Death of Children, as they battle to save the world – and ultimately the Universe – from the clutches of evil Uncle Lucius. Told in a style reminiscent of the great Roald Dahl, they have been described as heart-warming tales of friendship and courage, with totally unpredictable twists and turns, that will immerse you in a strange and wonderfully unusual world.
Then there are the short stories and blogs, among which, are: ‘The Garden Party’ (inspired by the British television programme, Stella Street), ‘Barbarian Chefs Rule the World’ (yes, that’s right, it is ‘barbarian chefs’ and not ‘barbarian chiefs’), ‘The Wizard’ and the ‘Fotherington-Tomas’ mini-series, which would make any fan of Sherlock Holmes or Flashman gibber and drool with delight. Most of them are five to ten-minute reads, so perfect for when you’re stuck on the train or the bus, or even just waiting for the kettle to boil.
About Rob Gregory – The Author
Born in the wilds of Bristol, England, in the mid-nineteen seventies, Rob Gregory bravely battled school and an unusually high number of bad haircuts to emerge relatively unscathed with a basic, but well-loved education, tucked under his arm. Using this in much the same way as a thief uses his favourite crowbar, he wormed his way into Reading University – which is quite appropriate for a writer – and studied Biology – which is not!
Having gained a slightly broader education and a fondness for old buildings, he shimmied his way along the well-trodden towpath to Oxford University, where he locked himself in a broom cupboard for three years and emerged with a PhD, having still not written any substantive works of fiction, despite what critics of his thesis on chicken behaviour might say!
Following those halcyon years, he set off with reckless abandon to seek his fortune among the glittering lights and gold-paved streets of Londinium, where he promptly fell in with a pioneering Internet TV company, called NOW.com. It was a wild and passionate affair, involving late nights, plenty of alcohol and playing around with expensive televisual equipment. But alas, it was not to be and he was run out of Chiswick a little over a year later, by a band of howling warrior maidens from the BBC.
Never one to stop running, he fled across the continents, ending up in New Zealand, where he found excitement in the windy nether regions of the capital, Wellington and solace in the welcoming arms of the Waikato – definitely not the capital. It was there that he finally put finger to keyboard and wrote his first book, Death and the Schoolboy, which was put onto a 3.5″ floppy disk and promptly forgotten about. However, the deed was done and no matter how hard he tried to ignore the urge, even focusing for more than a decade on a glittering career in farm animal welfare, the need to write became ever stronger.
Finally, he capitulated and at the beginning of 2017, he began a new life as a wandering author (and animal welfare consultant – old habits die hard, don’t you know). What you see here, today, is the ongoing legacy of that fateful decision…Enjoy!